My Beliefs

I started this blog as a journal... a diary kinda. I'm writing to myself. But I seem to have picked up readers. (hi!)

It's kinda nice and makes me feel great on one hand and then on the other I feel freaked out. There are People reading my words. (Have you ever seen that Bugs Bunny episode where the big orange monster looks out into the 'audience' and freaks out that there are PEOPLE out there and then he runs away?)

I am a bit of a perfectionist and I love to write but I do not always have the time with working full time, taking care of kids and house and animals and my Priestess duties. Having instant access to write here is both good and bad. Good because I do not have to wait all day to write something, bad because I might say something stupid and ridiculous and not realize until I go to edit later.

I hope you will forgive me for that.

I like asking questions. And then looking up interesting topics and asking some more questions.
In some of my previous postings I may not have been clear on what exactly my own beliefs are and only talked about things I find fascinating. I am like my namesake, Crow, spotting some tinsel in the wind. (ooooh shiny...)

So I thought I take a minute (or days, how would you know?) to talk about what I do believe in and what my spirituality is really like.

I have never believed in 'God' in the 'traditional' sense. This is because the traditional definition was wrong for me. God: all powerful, all knowing external male entity that dictated what you can and can't do.

I grew up with an Atheist Dad and a non-traditional Catholic Mom. My parents agreed not to have me baptised so that I could make my own decisions regarding religion. That said, as soon as my parent's left me in the care of my grandmother, she had me baptised Catholic.  She meant well, saving my mortal soul and all.

Once I was old enough to understand religion, sometime in middle school I would assume, I started asking too many questions. It may have started in history class, who knows now? But at that point I knew that I was not a Christian. I managed to get through Genesis in the Bible once. I felt like everything in it was wrong. Being a girl, I was just as good as any boy. Flesh and blood. A Mind. Why would my different parts make me less than a boy? Why won't my dad teach me to fix a car? Why are animals treated as less than man?  Why in the world would we want to rule the natural world instead of protect it?

I didn't know. So I became an atheist. (I figured I had to be either on the Judeo-Christian bandwagon or an Atheist) So while I identified with Atheism, I also kept my mom's words to heart. She always said that one did not have to go inside a church to find God. God was in everything, all around us. 

At this time I had some interesting dreams. I always have interesting dreams. So did mom. We didn't really talk about the meanings of these dreams. It was like an unspoken secret. Mom always just knew things. I didn't think too much about it until much later in life.

I remember one dream though. It (and some subsequent related ones) helped me get through a difficult time in my life. I had no friends in middle school because I was a little different. I was made fun of, threatened with getting beaten up on a daily basis. I had one punk punch me in the face because I glanced at him as I walked down the hall. I had a group of girls pretend to send me notes from a boy who supposedly liked me just to laugh at me.

I felt very alone. Like I was the only one in the world like me. That I was flawed somehow. An outcast. A lot of kids are faced with this and there are really 2 paths to choose from. Path 1: Give in and change oneself to fit in. Path 2: Stay true to who you are. I've never been one to conform. It was just not my way. (I'm a pretty stubborn, tough little cookie who was not afraid to stand up for myself.)

So I decided that I had to embrace being different. Even if that meant being alone.

Thankfully it did not last forever.  I did find friends who didn't quite fit in either.  It also helped enrolling in Martial Arts. I was pretty great at it and the boost to my self-esteem sure didn't hurt.

Anyway, around this time I had a dream one night that was so vivid I wasn't quite sure I was dreaming. Have you ever had one of those? I never remembered the first  time I dreamt of this particular spirit, but I did remember getting up in the middle of the night to go outside to check to make sure there wasn't anyone calling my name from the driveway. I'm sure I laughed at myself for being crazy but I could never shake the feeling that there was really someone there. (This is where my name Shael comes from. It's the name I was called in my dream).

Later on in high school when I learned about the Native American Spirit Crow, I identified my dream spirit as Crow. Why? It felt right. And somehow the archetype of the trickster helped me get my footing in life and define my moral compass. You'll have to go back and read about the Trickster Archetype in my earlier posts.

Typing this out for the world to see is a little daunting. I promise I am quite sane. I have always both believed and disbelieved in spiritual matters. 99.9% of the time I do not believe spirits or gods exist except as parts of our own souls. Archetypes or divinities are ways we bring up specific bits of our souls that we want to focus on.

A simplistic example would be if I want to approach a problem with peace and serenity, I could focus on the Goddess Quan Yin. (Chinese Goddess of peace and kindness and unconditional love).

For me, Crow symbolized a Creator spirit, one who helped me to laugh at myself and all those stupid human things that we do that we put SO much seriousness into when in the grand scheme of things, really aren't that serious. I need this reminder more often than I care to admit.

For those that know me, I think I pretty much always have a smile on my face despite all the CraZy and hectic things going on simultaneously in my life. I do not see the harm in honoring a spirit that helps me cope and keeps me laughing.

Some might wonder why I call myself a pagan since I sound so much like an atheist. Well, that's a good question. I approach things with a scientific mind but understand that our soul/spirit has not (yet) been measured by science. I think I'm what you call a Naturalistic Pagan. I believe in Divinity and therefore am not an atheist. Just because MY gods/goddesses live inside me is no reason to kick me out from the pagan umbrella. (For any Christian readers, don't worry, I found Jesus in here too. He's shaking hands with Osirus and Baldur.)


So this brings us to present day.

I write and assist with rituals for the MoonPath Chapter of CUUPS (Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans) and the Sisterhood of the Temple of Ahel Adom. I celebrate the quarters of the year, especially my 2 favorites: Samhain and Beltain. I keep 3 altars: a Goddess Altar (Ishtar and Lillith), a 'working' altar currently dedicated to Hades and Persephone and another one dedicated to a few Viking Gods (Hail Odin)

(I'll do a quicky blog post about my altars later. With pictures. Promise.)

I honor the spirits of my family and ancestors that have gone before me. And most importantly, I help support my community and take care of my family. All my family, literal and spiritual.

I have a wonderful full house I share with my hubby, 2.5 kids, 3 dogs, 4 cats, a gerbil, 6 goats and 26 chickens (not all IN the house I swear!)  I also work full time putting my math skills and people skills into use daily. I also sew things and write stories and did I mention my vegetable garden? lol. yeah. I do keep busy.

In my 'spare' time (haha yeah whatever that is) I also research Hun history and am currently reading the Elder Eddas and the The Looking Glass Wars. Yes. At the same time. Don't ask.

Welp, I think that's it for now. Feel free to comment below. (respectfully)
If there are topics you would like to see me cover, let me know.
Questions are welcome too.

May you have an interesting day.

Ethics - Part 1

Thought I would tackle another big topic this week.
Ethics. Morals. Right Action.

These things are defined differently by each culture you find in the world.

The Golden Rule. (One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself)

The 10 Commandments.

The Nine Noble Virtues.

What Goes Around Comes Around

The Rule of Rebounding Threes (What you put out into the world comes back to you three times in strength)

If You Harm None Do What You Will

The End Justifies the Means

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People have tried to define into words this concept of Right Action probably since people first began living together in communities. I myself have thought about this topic often and have written down my concept of ethics in the scope of my beliefs.

I recently organized my piles (and piles) of loose research on random topics into a more cohesive reference book. I ran across the paragraph I wrote on my ethics 3 and half years ago when I first joined a religious order and what I wrote this past January when I became a full member and Priestess of that order.

I wouldn't say there was a whole lot of difference between the 2, but I would say that after 3 years, I had honed my definition of morality. The letter from 3 years ago was more generalized and followed a "Harm None" type of ethic. In this perspective, one's definition of HARM is the part that makes this code difficult to define exactly. Your idea of Harm and my idea of Harm may be VASTLY different. A vegetarian may define harm differently than a vegan would, or a hunter would. But we weren't looking for a one size fits all definition, were we? In this case, this particular code of ethics can be adjusted to your beliefs on what constitutes harm.

The down side is of course that you have to decide for yourself what level of harm is or is not acceptable to you. And we may have more unscrupulous people defining harm in as narrow a version as possible (say harm to me only). It also maintains this idea that actions are either good (no harm) or evil (harm) without looking at the intent behind the action.

For me, the Harm None meant basically that I should review the consequences of a potential action, not just from my personal perspective but also from the perspective of anyone that might be affected by that decision. The idea is to balance my wants/needs with the wants/need of others that it might impact negatively. The hard part for me though was how long it would take to review all the possible consequences. It makes making a decision all but impossible and most of the time all the options will cause some form of harm (I eat meat for example).

My 2nd letter felt like a more mature version, an amalgam of the above idea of Harm None and a Warrior's code, whereby some actions might cause harm, but in defence of myself or others only. (I AM a mother after all. I will kick the ever-loving-daylights out of anyone who tries to harm my kids.)

As an aside, I also have a 2nd degree blackbelt in Taekwondo and I was a U.S. Top 10 competitor for Taekwondo at the age of 16. I know how to use a bow and a sword and I am a great paintball sniper. I also own enough weapons (mostly bows and swords) to outfit a small army. Zombie-Apocalypse kiss my tookas.

Back on track, I think it is important to continue to revisit our beliefs in this respect, because it is easy to fall into a rut of doing what is easiest and not realize you are straying from your moral code. This is especially difficult if you are surrounded by people following different moral codes than yourself.

What I had trouble with for a long time was this idea that someone's actions could be separated into only 2 categories: Good and Evil. Black and White. Sins and Virtues. Opposites. Dualities.

An action was only one or the other and that is it. But in the real world, this did not make any sense to me. It was obvious that the INTENT behind an action could completely change whether an action was good or bad.

So it was (and is) my opinion that an action in and of itself cannot be good or evil.

If we are to re-define morality and remove the obstacle of duality the best way to do so is to focus on intent What is your intent behind the action? And no, I do not think the road to Hel is paved with good intentions.
(Fact is that I do not believe in such a place - another topic for another time)

In Part 2 I want to talk about a specific Warrior's Code that I discovered this year, called the Nine Noble Virtues, a way of life derived from the Vikings.

Personal Gnosis

What exactly is Personal Gnosis?
As I typically like to do, I will divide up this word.

What is Gnosis?
This is a Greek word that means knowledge.

So a personal gnosis then, would be your knowledge. It is typically used in reference to spiritual knowledge that has personal meaning.

This topic can blow up exponentially from here, so I am going to keep it to this simple meaning above.

Everyone and anyone can have this kind of personal meaningful spiritual knowledge no matter what religion or spiritual persuasion.

And now I get to mention my new favorite word, or acronym rather.

UPG

Unverified (or Unsubstantiated) Personal Gnosis

I listen to Raven Radio often and right about now I am hearing the "UPG Alert" button being pressed.

UPG refers to a certain kind of spiritual knowledge that is not shared by other people or one that is valid and meaningful to one person but is not able to be generalized to other's experiences.

This is a tough one because technically, ALL spiritual experience can be UPG. But there are some ideas that are accepted by a large group and then are therefore no longer considered 'unsubstantiated'.

The question is twofold:
1. How does a concept move from one to the other?
2. How many people are need to believe in the flying spaghetti monster* :insert misunderstood deity or concept of choice: for it to no longer be UPG?

Before I get into trying to answer these 2 questions, I think it might be helpful to give an example of these concepts.

My ancestors worshiped the god of warriors. I think most people can identify the characteristics of a war god. A ususally male divinity, patron of warriors and strategy.

Now, if I said my ancestors worshiped Tyr, this will give you a different concept than if I said they worshiped Ares or Thor. Each a warrior (war) god, but quite different in function and, dare I say, personality or 'flavor'.

But both of the statements above would be understood by the majority of people.

Now, let's juxtapose that with saying that my war god came down from the heavens and gave my great, great, great, great :insert 5x great: grandfather the Sword of God and granted him the power to rule.

UPG.

Why is this UPG? Because I may be the only person to believe this. It's a great story but how many of you are rolling your eyes? How many times have you heard someone talking big about granny so-and-so? About being a hereditary witch going back 5 generations? A was so-and-so in a past life. The story may be important to you and perhaps your family, but to the greater community it means nothing, at worst, would be considered boasting and telling of tall-tales.

I do not think this is necessarily a bad thing.  It may be quite beneficial to a person to see themselves as a reincarnation of Morgana La Fay. It may give themselves a reservoir of strength to get them through tough decisions or situations. It is when this gets out of control that it can turn into a problem.

Just how does a concept that starts out as a story, progress to a legend or myth to a become part of everyday dialogue?

I am not sure we can really answer this question. It happens in a natural manner. For example, while not *really* my infinite great grandfather, that little story above is talking about Attilla the Hun. A legend passed down.

Make the sign of the cross almost anywhere in the world and it is universally understood.

Say "Blessed Be" at any pagan gathering. Again, understood.

I read an article this week written by the man who named 2 of the pagan holidays of Mabon and Litha. Did you know that these 2 words were created in the 70's by Aidan Kelley? (I spent an hour trying to find the website again. arg. If I find it later, I will post the link here. Curse you internet.)

The next question is of course a trick question. General concepts find it easy to transcend cultural boundaries. These become archetypes. The details may change, but the idea stays the same.

The hero that dies and returns in times of need.
The goddess of love
The virgin mother
The god that dies and is resurrected
Angel/Fairy Godmother

So I wonder in this case if Personal Gnosis would be defined by its generalness (is that a word?) and the Unverified Person Gnosis would be the details. (The devil in the details indeed)

Things I've read this week

(that may or may not have contributed in words, thoughts or mindsets)

Theologies of Immanence: Wicca and Science

Community and the Lack Thereof

Patheos Pagan portal

Things I've learned this week

(A.K.A Notes to self)

1. Learn to save all web addresses to articles I read or I will NEVER find them again. Ever.
2. I need to stop following some things on Facebook. My feed is overwhelmed and I miss things from people I actually care about. arg.
3. Never leave bread out where anything 3 feet or taller standing up can reach it.



* No offense intended to the Flying Spaghetti Monster or his minions.

Hungarian Paganism

Here I go again, getting ready to give a talk, some stories and a ritual in honor to my ancestors and their Gods at MoonPath CUUPS.

I'll add my finalized ritual at the bottom.

I scoured the inter-webz in search of any discussions or articles on Hungarian pagansim, however, my 4th grade Hungarian reading level failed me mightily and there is barely anything in English. :sadface:

There is, however, A LOT on the controversy raging over our history. Specifically centered on our origins, whether the Huns came from Asian (Finno-Urgalic) decent or whether we came from Sumerian origins. I will not try to get into details on this, as other much more focused researchers have done an insanely better job of this than I could right now.  I will say that I am on the Sumerian bandwagon but realize that both theories may be correct.

Here are some links if you are interested: **I'm going to add more shortly. Promise.**

1. Dr. László Marácz, Professor of Linguistics, Amsterdam University - The Untenability of the Finno-Ugric Theory from a Linguistic Point of View.

2. All the Theories in One Place



All I will say is that the 1st hypothesis was introduced by the Communists (WWII?) based solely on some language similarities, while the second one has been around a while longer and is trying to make a comeback. It is also based on language as well as customs, traditions and stories. There is also DNA to consider.

The main problem with figuring out origins is that the Hun (the Seven Tribes of Hun - Hetmagyar) were not quite the barbarians that the Romans made them out to be. (Most of the written accounts about the Hun happen to come from Roman sources). The people they conquered usually became part of the tribes (not slaves) so the tribes have a great many different ethnicities.

Currently, there is a Festival every year called the Kurultaj (Like a Powwow of Hun Tribes). More Pictures. This has been going on since about 2010 when it was discovered that the Turkish tribe of the Madjar (Hungarians are called Magyar by the way) were a sister tribe, DNA similarity was given as proof. Pretty awesome. Article.

I particularly enjoy stories of my ancestors. The White Stag by Kate Seredy is the story of how Atilla's sons founded the Hungarian Nation. It's a children's book.

One story I remember growing up was how Atilla was buried. After he died, the people were worried that enemies would get to his body and desecrate it. So what they did was place him in 3 coffins, a gold one (wealth and glory) inside a silver one (affiliation with the moon), inside an iron one (stength). His soldiers diverted a river (the Tisza), buried him there, reverted the river and killed themselves so that no one would ever find the burial plot. In fact, to this day, his burial plot is a mystery.
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Where_is_Attila_the_Hun's_grave

Atilla (the Hun) is a hero to many Hungarians. It is through his lineage that all of the true rulers of Hungary decend. In fact, I have heard through my mother who is friends with a Hungarian Shaman (Taltos) that leaders of the Hun had to follow a special ritual/ceremony at particular place in Hungary in order to become Ruler. This ceremony was where the Goddess would bestow blessings and approval for the new Ruler as the Crown was placed upon his head. This is still the current Crown of Hungary. It is said that any ruler who forgoes this ceremony goes mad or dies.

The Tribes were united under the rule of Arpad and then later by Arpad's decendant Attilla. They are also called the Turul Dynasty and the Kindred of the Holy Kings.

(Arpad)

Legend has it that Arpad's father was Almos. Almos (meaning: Dream or Dreamt One) was named so because his mother was the legendary Priestess, Emese. Emese was the first Priestess and she was given this title (and her son) by the Turul. Emese had prayed to god for a son and god answered her by sending her the Tural hawk. In her dream the Turul showed her a great river flowing from her, travelling far and wide, sometimes smaller and sometimes a torrential rush of raging water. The river took her far away and ended at the base of a golden  tree. Her dream showed her that through her blood would be born Kings who would rule a far away land that would be their home. She awoke pregnant with her son and so he is also referred to as the Son of Heaven. It is also interesting to note that Emese is considered a SUMERIAN Priestess. Her husband Ogyek was a Chief of Scythia.

It is interesting to note the similarities between this and certain other religious creation stories... as well as the fact that this story can trace it's beginnings to the wide acceptance of Christianity at this same time period. (roughly 860-870)

This story reaffirms the Hun-Magyar kinship, and the knowledge that the Magyars reconquered Hungary as their rightful inheritance from Atilla's great Hun Empire.
The great mythical Turul bird of prey is one of the most important symbols of the Hungarians. It represents their god's power and will. The Turul was seen as the ancestor of Atilla, and it was also the symbol of the Huns. The Hungarian Turul is often represented carrying the flaming Sword of God.

Which leads me into my next story. Attilla is said to have possession  of the Sword of God; Mars or Aries depending on who tells the story, but it was more than likely Hadur, the Hun War God. I have also read that the War God could have been Tiew/Tyr, son of Woden/Odin. (I need more research on this as you see, but these deities have much in common (Hadur and Tiew).

The people of the plains remained rough and at one with nature. They were the greatest warriors the world had ever known. Bravery was instilled in them from childhood onward; bravery was implanted into the depths of their soul. They lived by the sword and they died by the sword. It is no wonder that to them the sword (saber) was a sacred object, which they revered. They were empowered by it.
The Sword of God had a magic power; it was either inherited or specially made for great rulers such as Attila or Álmos. According to some sources, the Scythians used iron from a meteor to make the Sword of God - most special, indeed. After the blacksmith fashioned the sword, it was placed on the top of a mound - standing it up like a lightning rod, waiting for the lightning to strike it. If this happened, it was believed to be the will of God, and this gave the sword a magical power. This power from the sword was transferred to its owner and was given to him by God -  he ruled by the will of God. (http://www.chicagohungarians.com/radics/Origin2a.htm)

And one more story that cannot be left out. I will summarize the White Stag by Kate Seredy.
But for you online readers, here is a short synopsis.




Ritual to Honor the Mother-Goddess: Inanna, Freyr, Boldogaszony (Great Queen of Heaven) and Hajnal Anyacska (Dawn Mother).

Partially written by me, and partially taken from other sources listed in References below.

Autumn Moon Ritual

Tools:

·         Candles for each of the four quarters

·         A cup of wine or cider

·         Symbols of the harvest to decorate the altar

Assign a member of the group to call each quarter. Each person should stand at their assigned quarter holding their unlit candle (and a lighter or matches), and facing the altar.

HP:

We gather around to honor the changing of the seasons. Summer is coming to a close and autumn fast approaches. Err long it will be the dark of the year. We come together to celebrate the harvest season, the time to give thanks for what we have and look to the future to see what the wheel will bring us next. Gather round and form a circle.

"Oh Goddess, Source of Gods and Mortals,

All-Fertile, All-Destroying Gaia,

Mother of All, Who brings forth the bounteous fruits and flowers,

All variety, Maiden who anchors the eternal world in our own,

Immortal, Blessed, crowned with every grace,

Deep bosomed Earth, sweet plains and fields fragrant grasses in the nurturing rains,

Around you fly the beauteous stars, eternal and divine,

Come, Blessed Goddess, and hear the prayers of Your children,

And make the increase of the fruits and grains your constant care,

With the fertile seasons Your handmaidens,

Draw near, and bless your supplicants."

-Orphic Hymn to Gaia, Translated by Virginia Stewart.

NORTH: Light the candle, hold it to the sky, and say:

We call upon the powers of Earth,
and welcome you to this circle.
May the fertile soil of the land bring us
prosperity, abundance, and the bounty of the land,
in this time of harvest.

Place the candle on the altar.

EAST: Light the candle, hold it to the sky, and say:

We call upon the powers of Air,
and welcome you to this circle.
May the winds of change bring us wisdom and knowledge
in this season of abundance and bounty.

Place the candle on the altar.

SOUTH: Light the candle, hold it to the sky, and say:

We call upon the powers of Fire,
and welcome you to this circle.
May the shining light of this season's moon
illuminate our way through the coming winter.

Place the candle on the altar.

WEST: Light the candle, hold it to the sky, and say:

We call upon the powers of Water,
and welcome you to this circle.
May the cool autumn rains wash away
the last comforts of summer,
and prepare us for the chill that is to come.

Place the candle on the altar.

HP: When everyone has something to drink, we are going to go around the circle, take a sip and share one thing you are looking forward to in the coming month. Do you hope to manifest financial independence? Develop your intuitive powers? Or are you perhaps hoping to grow your relationships? Now is the time to state your intent.

EVERYONE: All say:

We gather tonight by the light of the moon,
to celebrate the season, and rejoice.
May the next turn of the Wheel bring us love
and compassion, abundance and prosperity,
fertility and life.
As the moon above, so the earth below.

WEST: Blow out the candle, and say:

Powers of Water, we thank you for your presence in our circle this night.

Hail and Farewell.

SOUTH: Blow out the candle, and say:

Powers of Fire, we thank you for your presence in our circle this night.

Hail and Farewell.

EAST: Blow out the candle, and say:

Powers of Air, we thank you for your presence in our circle this night.

Hail and Farewell.

NORTH: Blow out the candle, and say:

Powers of Earth, we thank you for your presence in our circle this night.

Hail and Farewell.

HP Thank you Mother for your presence in our circle tonight.

Hail and Farewell.

This ritual has ended. So mote it be. Blessed Be.

References:
http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/wiccanandpaganrituals/ht/Autumn_Group.htm
http://www.sibyllineorder.org/sacred_texts/oh_gaia.htm


email: greencloverfairy@gmail.com

Süsü and learning about the world

This'll be a short one but felt like sharing.

When I was a very small kid, my favorite cartoon character was a Dragon named Süsü (pronounced Shu- Shu). I still have this cute little stuffed version of him. He's made of felt and has wooden eyes.

Anyway, Süsü was a strange dragon. His family all hated him because he was such an odd-ball, after all, he only had one head. People of course hated him because he was a big scary dragon. 

So you can imagine how hard it was for him in the world.

At age 3, my parents left me in Hungary (a communism country at the time) to come to America for a better life. Almost a year later, I finally was able to join them. I felt a bit like our dragon here: out of place, coming into an alien culture.

My first school was a Catholic School. The nuns did not like me too much. I am told that most of the time, one would wait with me until my mom picked me up to tell her what I had done wrong that day. I was bossy and determined and asked too many questions I shouldn't. I was also highly intelligent.

An example: In Art, we were asked to draw a picture of a fish. At 5, I did not know what a fish looked like and the teacher refused to tell me. Only stating that I should do my best. So what did my 5 year old self do? I painted the entire page blue.

Teacher: You did not do the assignment, where is the fish?
Self: I did draw a fish, it's in the ocean.

Being so young, it wasn't for a while that my oddness in relation to others became apparent to me. I had a tough time growing up because I was different. I did not speak like those born here. After all, I learned English from school (and Sesame Street of course) and I spoke like a dictionary. What I mean is that I did not use slang for a long time, and I am (and was) usually very grammatically correct. I also did not do things the everyone else did, I wanted to do things my way.

I started thinking about this this week because I finally applied for US citizenship. (woot! way to go me!)
I was thinking about how fortunate I am to live in this country and how thankful I am for growing up the way that I did.

My parents always told me how terrible it was living under oppression, in a place where you couldn't be yourself. Where the nails that stood up would be hammered down.

And so my dragon taught me that it was good to be different and that when the people that mattered in your life knew who you really were, they would love you. And those who didn't, didn't matter.

Süsü wasn't the only one, just the first one, that began teaching me these life-long lessons.  I grew up with stories about heroes and standing up for what you believe in and protecting ones family.

In thanks to my heritage and family and as a remembrance to those family that I have lost this past week, I am going to share some more of the stories I grew up with this week.

I'm in a more somber mood than usual, so you'll have to forgive me for being a little less-than my normal humorous and witty self.

I'll leave you with a little clip of Süsü.

Tricksters - Archetype and Myth

I've been asked to do 2 presentations for CUUPS (Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans) and being that I am obsessed with Crow, I thought it appropriate to make the fist presentation about Tricksters.
If you are coming to CUUPS on July 12th, don't read any farther!
Some of the following are my own words/thoughts and some are from other sources. Please see the bottom for references!

Hi everyone. Most nights, I am Priestess of the Sisterhood of Ahel Adom, but tonight, I am Trickster-friend, Mortal Crow. There are many different opinions on this topic and what I am presenting tonight is just my personal opinion and I hope you all, at the very least, enjoy my stories.

It's been 10 years that I have been coming to CUUPS. It has also been 15 years since I became a pagan. Or rather it was 15 years ago that I discovered the name for what I had always been. 

But the fact is that I may never have given religion (any religion) a second thought if it were not for a spirit friend that I've had from the age of 13. I do not usually talk about him, because, as you may have guessed, he is a trickster. 

I do not talk about him often because Tricksters have a bad rep, and may people judge those of us who have a soft spot for them rather negatively. It is of course amusing to me and I take no offense.

I mentioned how long many of you have known me, is that most of you will know me at least well enough to see that I am not a person who plays tricks on others, nor am I malicious nor a troublemaker. I'm a pretty calm, responsible, loyal and honorable person. But Trickster has helped me see the humor in all things and tempers my need for seriousness and order.

Have you ever met a Trickster?

If you ever pulled a practical joke, or

        if you have ever been fooled,

    if you are addicted to puns, or

        if you delight in confusion,

    if you feel constrained by boundaries, or

        if sometimes you just want to do your way

    if you are atuned to illusions and games, or

        or think about cheating,

    if you have gotten yourself in trouble, or

        if ever wanted to burst somebody's bubble,

    if you're too clever for your own good, or

        if you're too stupid to live,

    Then there is a good chance that you already have met Trickster.

The fact is that some of us just don't think in straight lines or easy to find paths. Our brain hemispheres are reversed, we lay outside the norms, we do not fit, we buck boundaries, and we argue with rules.  Some of us are just cantankerous, some of us are just driven by other times and other voices.  We all have been touched by Trickster.

So what exactly IS a Trickster?
Tricksters are hard to define into a box because their very nature is defies classification and analysis.
A trickster is a god, goddess, spirit, man, woman, or anthropomorphic animal who plays tricks or otherwise disobeys normal rules and conventional behavior. Animals associated with Trickster are hares, coyotes and ravens and crows. Symbols associated with him include keys, clocks, masks, and infinity. Frequently the Trickster figure exhibits gender and form variability, and changing gender roles.
Many people view things from the duality of Good and Evil. I do not. I see the duality instead as Order and Chaos. An extreme of either one of these is not a good thing. Too much Order and we lose our freedom and will. Too much Chaos and we lose our security and necessary structures. One function of the Trickster is maintaining this balance.

Another function is as a rebel who refuses to confirm to societal expectations. There are times when we should challenge authority, or question rules or point out flaws in our own carefully constructed realities. It is this spirit that gave us America out from under British rule, Women's Liberation and LGBT rights and the right for us to worship the old gods.

He exists to question, and to cause us to question and not accept things blindly. He appears when a way of thinking that has become outmoded needs to be torn down and built anew.  He is the Destroyer of Worlds and at the same time, the savior of us all.

Yet another function that can be given to Trickster is as Provocateur.
The Nigerian trickster God was Edshu, who liked to provoke people in order to spark debate between the people. He was recognizable by the hat he wore that was red on one side and blue on the other. The purpose of this hat was to instantly provoke arguments between those on either side of him on the issue of what color his hat actually was. This may sound like Edshu was simply an agitator without a cause, but the point of the hat argument was to get people to understand that even the most simple and apparently undebatable topics can have two perfectly valid perspectives.

That description of Edshu might make you think of the term amoral. It is true that most of the trickster gods were amoral as well as non-conformist. It is important to remember that in its strictest definition, amoral means there is absence of all moral sensibilities; things are neither moral nor immoral. In other words, when the trickster deities engaged in their own particular acts of anarchy it was not to teach a morality, but merely to get mortals to engage in discourse over what constitutes morality and immorality. With this in mind, it should come as little surprise to discover that many trickster gods have a duality that often gets expressed in the trickster god being viewed both as hero and as villain.

In some stories, he is the creator of humanity or gift-giver to humanity. Gifts given usual include such things as fire, useful tools, harvesting and invention.

Trickster stories still have power: the power to bring us to laughter, the power to baffle us, the power to make us wonder and think and, like Trickster, to just keep going on.

I have a few stories that I would like to share. Three from this side of the ocean, and three from the other side.

COYOTE and the Origin of Death

RAVEN Steals the Sun

Why is CROW Black?

How the Goddess ERIS Caused the Trojan War

LOKI and the Construction of Asgard

Lokka Tattur

Resources:

http://hercules.gcsu.edu/~mmagouli/trickster.htm

http://faculty.gvsu.edu/websterm/Tricksters.htm

http://voices.yahoo.com/carl-jungs-trickster-archetype-trickster-deities-2001160.html

http://nonjohn.com/Trickster.htm

http://www4.hmc.edu:8001/Humanities/Western/Trickster.htm

Personified Gods?

I was an Atheist ever since I can remember. When I was young, I defined an atheist as someone who did not believe in God. I looked around and didn't see the Judeo-Christian God anywhere. I asked myself, what would change in the world if he did exist? I concluded that nothing would be different. Granted, this was my angsty-teen self.

But I was open to change. I admitted freely that the possibility of being wrong was there. And if I found proof otherwise, I would be open to experiencing it.

I met a group in college. We sat together at lunch and debated religion. It was truly awesome. We had some progressive Christians, Catholics, a Jewish-Cabalist and me, the Atheist. It was sometime into that year of school, when the cute Jewish guy leaned over and said something along the lines of "I don't think that word means what you think it means. With your beliefs, I don't think you're an atheist. I think you might be a witch."

A whole world opened up before me that I didn't know even existed. Things started to make more sense all of a sudden.

I get this feeling every now and then that I have opened a door to something important. I remember this first door fondly.

Don't get me wrong, I am still very much of an atheistic pagan mindset. I have never believed in the existence of  actual gods, goddesses, fairies, dragons or any other entity. I DO however believe in the divine universal energy that permeates all things. I DO believe in the power of archetypes and the personification of particular energy patterns as named deities. And yet, I do smile when I think of particular archetype who I call Crow. Among other names.

And yet.

With those precipitous words, I opened yet another door filled with questions this time instead of answers.
Before I get to those questions, a tangent.

I have always honored my family and our ancestors. I grew up with stories of heroes and princes and princesses. Some of those stories were (supposedly) of real people in our history. It was amazing to me to know that these were people from my tribe, my ancient culture stretching back hundreds of years. I talk here about a particular European Tribe The Hun (yes, THOSE Huns), whose history has been partly destroyed and whose heritage is fiercely debated even today with 2 very different schools of thought.

There also is very little we know about their pre-christian religions. I have spent a great deal of time on research. Really, I just want to know. I'm curious. And I am drawn to these old stories, remnants of which I have found in other nearby cultures. Being so drawn to this part of my family history, I never turned to the other part, the Germanic family tree.

I taught a lesson in April on Shamanism. As a prepped for the class, I read a few books as a refresher to Shamanism and it caught my attention more than it had before. I know that Shamans were the first 'priests' of humanity and I even knew that the Huns had Shamans. In fact, the first Shaman was a woman Emese, who was given these abilities by the Turul Hawk, the messenger of the gods. And it is from her blood that all the leaders of the tribes descended. I'll have to do another blog on this later.

Anyway, from here I stumbled over to the similarities in myth and stories and linguistical comparisons with the Norse. I had never went down this path, as as far as I knew there were no links between the Hun and the Vikings. And yet there was one god they seemed to share. Even down to the name. Hodur.

Here's a little Wikipedia for ya:

Hungarian: Hadúr, or Hodúr in old hungarian, short for Hadak Ura, meaning "War Lord" or "Army Lord" in Hungarian, was the god of fire, later became a war god in the religion of the early Hungarians (Magyars). In Hungarian mythology, he was the third son of Arany Atyácska (Golden Father) and Hajnal Anyácska (Dawn Mother), the main god and goddess. He had many brothers and sisters, including his two brothers: Napkirály (King Sun) and Szélkirály (King Wind). In Heaven, on the top of the World Tree on the first level there was the castle of Arany Atyácska, and Napkirály's Golden Forest below it, and Szélkirály's Silver Forest below it, and Hadúr's Copper Forest was the third. There he lived as a blacksmith of the gods. He is thought to be a great man with long hair and with armour and weapons made of pure copper, since copper was his sacred metal. He supposedly made the legendary sword, Sword of God (Isten fénykardja) which was discovered by Attila the Hun and secured his rule.
Norse: Höðr (often anglicized as Hod, Hoder, or Hodur) is the brother of Baldr in Norse mythology. He shot the mistletoe arrow which was to slay the otherwise invulnerable Baldr.

Hodur was the twin brother of Thor, who is Thor (from Old Norse Þórr) is a hammer-wielding god associated with thunder, lightning, storms, oak trees, strength, the protection of mankind, and also hallowing, healing, and fertility. The cognate deity in wider Germanic mythology and paganism was known in Old English as Þunor and in Old High German as Donar (runic þonar ᚦᛟᚾᚨᚱ), stemming from a Common Germanic *Þunraz (meaning "thunder").
Ultimately stemming from Proto-Indo-European religion, Thor is a prominently mentioned god throughout the recorded history of the Germanic peoples

It was interesting to note the archetype of the war-god was very prevalent in these times. And whether true or not, I though that it was funny that the Germanic peoples, who at times at war with the Hun, would name their war-god's brother (a puny, weak and BLIND god) after the Huns main war-god! And this isn't where it ends. This blind god in the sagas kills the god of light and goodness with an arrow. Huns were know as mighty Archers.

Granted, this may just be my musings, but it is interesting to wonder about!

Here is where we get back on track from my tangent. I had previously heard of the Norse; Odin, Thor and Loki specifically, but I had yet never really read anything about them.

I felt like the spirit of Loki had whispered in my ear. GO ahead. Open the door. You know you want to.

I did.

It was as if an avalanche of stuff had been wedged behind that door, and it all came spilling out. Along with the missing socks, childhood memories, and karate gear come tumbling out, were also more fundamentally challenging questions.

Are there real gods?
What is a god?
How is something a god versus a super-natural or natural force?
If we accept one god as real and immanent, must we accept all the gods of that pantheon?
If we accept one pantheon, must we acknowledge the possibility that all gods of all pantheons exist?
And more important, do we want them to?

As I came-to, I realized other people were also asking these very questions. Here are a couple of ones I read recently:

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/pantheon/2012/06/when-pagan-loses-meaning-atheists-and-theists/

http://vinlands-volva.blogspot.com/2007/07/rokkr-we-have-been-discussing-rokkr-on.html#!/2007/07/rokkr-we-have-been-discussing-rokkr-on.html

I am not sure of the answer to these questions. I know how my heart wants to answer these questions. And I know how my scientific brain wants to answer these questions. But where does the truth lie?

My next step has been to immerse myself in the sagas and I have received several recommendations on which books to start with.

I am also lurking on some website chat boards. I am quite amused at the many different paths within Heathenry. I never realized there were as many under this heading as there was under the heading of Pagan. They do not all seem to get along. So I have decided at this time to choose no path (research-wise I mean).

The plan of attack:
1. Read sagas. (Reading the Prose Edda now)
2. Form questions. (Already have several, top one being: How accurate can these be regarding actual beliefs if written by Christians 200 years after conversion?)
3. Read books by: Freya Aswynn  and Eddred Thorson/ S. Flowers, Galina Krasskova.
I was also recommended. to read these guys (Ellis Davidson, Elisa Titchenell and Diana Paxson) but I have been told the above were much much better. Feel free to email me some other recommendations.
4. Form more questions.
5. Seek out live person for answers and discussion.

I need to go rest my brain now.

Love,

Me.

Just what IS a Mortal Crow?

TO define a Mortal Crow, one must first take apart the phrase.

Mortal: ie. opposite of immortal, one who is finite and has a limited lifespan. Usual refers to Humankind.

Crow:
Meaning 1: a small (usually) black bird. From the genus Corvus in the family Corvidae.

Meaning 2: Crow symbols in Myth, the wise and wily spirit, protector of humankind.

In Irish mythology, crows are associated with Morrigan, the goddess of war and death.

The god Bran the Blessed whose names means 'crow' or 'raven' is associated with corvids and death.

In Norse mythology, Huginn and Muninn (Thought and Memory) are a pair of ravens that fly all over the world, Midgard, and bring the god Odin information.

In Australian Aboriginal mythology, Crow is a trickster, culture hero and ancestral being.

Crows are mentioned often in Buddhism, especially Tibetan disciplines. The Dharmapala (protector of the Dharma) Mahakala is represented by a crow in one of his physical/earthly forms. Avalokiteśvara/Chenrezig, who is reincarnated on Earth as the Dalai Lama, is often closely associated with the crow because it is said that when the first Dalai Lama was born, robbers attacked the family home. The parents fled and were unable to get to the infant Lama in time. When they returned the next morning expecting the worst, they found their home untouched, and a pair of crows were caring for the Dalai Lama. It is believed that crows heralded the birth of the First, Seventh, Eighth, Twelfth and Fourteenth Lamas, the latter being the current Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso

(** Some of the above taken from Wikipedia)

Suffice it to say that crow/raven myth exists in most cultures, often associated with death, intelligence and cunning. Some stories see the Crow Spirit as a stand-in for the creator. In some, he brings fire to humanity, sometimes he gifts us with knowledge of harvesting and other things that are useful.

Sometimes Crow can be misunderstood. In the guise of the trickster, he can feared (or laughed at as a fool).
Just what IS a trickster? I think this it the key to the misunderstanding. Is it someone who plays tricks on others merely to make a fool of others? Just to be mean or for no other purpose than to cause harm? Or is it someone who teaches you a lesson you needed to learn?

Admit it, some of us can only learn the hard way. You can only be told so many times not to be vain, not to be materialistic, not to steal, not to touch that boiling pot. Sometimes the only way to truly learn a lesson is to step into the pit of your own making and be forced to climb and slip and climb again. Once you spent weeks or months and years climbing out, what are the odds you would fall in again?

The other part of this is that in order to teach you this lesson, Crow must know what lesson you need to learn, and this is precisely why he is feared. He knows you. He knows your deep dark secrets that you don't want the world to see. And that is a scary thing.

There are many spiritual paths that teach you that in  order to be whole, to find your center, your balance, you must identify and face your shadow self.

This is how I see Crow, he is the mirror that I can hold up, see my Shadow self and acknowledge my limitations, my weaknesses and  then laugh at the silliness of it all. Laugh at yourself. He helps me see the humor in all things. Being mortal, with a limited time on this planet, what is really so damn serious? Absolutely nothing. And yet everything.